I view myself in two ways and both are very different. Who I am in my head, and Who I am to others.
In my head I am an adventurous, artistic, creative, generous, giving, somewhat outgoing person. A person who sees the pathway through the woods, keeps it in sight, but is not afraid to wander every now and again. However, if I step back and look at my self from a distance, I see none of these traits or characteristics in myself. I walk down the path, occasionally stopping to look around, thinking about deviating from whats ahead, but in the end continuing on, dwelling on what could have been. Honestly, if I was someone else looking at me I'd be hard pressed to find any of the above traits. Sure I help out when asked or needed, but I don't often volunteer for anything on my own. I show small signs of being creative, I can kind of draw, play instruments, take photographs, but I don't put enough time and energy into these tasks to get better at them. I don't adventure anywhere, and don't have anything that I am truly passionate about. I'll just sit here in my head and think, someday I'll take the time to do these things rather than do it now because tomorrow might not be here.
So I write this with a hope that you approach life differently than I do.
I hope that you both find some creative outlet and stick with it. Whether its art, music, photography, film, etc. Find something to be passionate about and be passionate about it.
Be kind to others. Don't just nod and smile when someone else looks your way. Converse with them, connect with them.
Don't be afraid to try new things, or be adventurous. Don't waste time just dreaming about it, go out and experience life. Put the phone/computer or whatever next-gen tech device there is down and live. Wander off the path for a while.
Don't always worry about the consequences. Part of my problem is that I over analyze decisions and always find the bad outcome. Don't worry about the outcome. You will make good decisions and bad decisions and you won't know which one is which until much later.
Do not be afraid to speak your mind, sometimes. I say sometimes, because we all have opinions and not every one is a good one. I keep quiet about far too much. If you feel strongly about something let it be said.
I have every bit of faith that you will know what you are doing in life when you become grown men. This will be because you have learned from myself, as I did from my Father and his before him. Don't let allow me to forget this when my memory starts to slip.
Do not be afraid of what anyone else thinks of what you are doing. Let them be concerned with their own decisions and shortcomings in life. Know that one day you will all come to the end of the path and will only have the experiences you've created.
Remember me in a good light. Know that I did not intend to always come across as yelling at you. It is a family flaw. I do what I do out of love for you both. You will not understand this until you both have young children of your own.
Changing who I am in my head to who I am in person will be a challenge, but I will always work on it to better myself for you both. I hope to grow old and watch you both become the men I know you can be, but we will never know when the forest will come to an end or what is on that other end when we get there. We can only hope to travel through it together for as long as we can.
